10 Years, Dead and Gone

I had a 10 year High School Reunion over the weekend. To be honest, I had absolutely no desire to go. The reasons for this are intertwined with my growing up in Westlake Village and my family's personal history. I grew up in an affluent suburb of Los Angeles, most of the kids I went to elementary, middle and high school with came from well off families. And, most of their families were still together. My momther divorced my father when I was 4; more unfortunately, my father had terminal brain cancer for the 13 years of my childhood when he was still alive.

Kids are vicious, I was and insecure kid due to the divorce and to make matters worse, some kids would tease me when my father came to pick me up on his bi weekly court mandated visitations. I remember once, I was in 4th or 5th grade and my dad was walking me back to his car after picking me up from school. And due to the cancer, he was unstable and slow on his feet, some of the kids were pretending to kick him from behind as he walked with me through the hallways. It made me so angry, what fucking kid would do such a thing to some other father? They did it my father because he was sick and slow.

I carry these memories with me. They pierce me to my core, they color my life, I can't shake them. I was not excited to be put in a room with the kids (now adults) who did this.  However, there were some people going to the reunion who I was anxious to see.

Luckily, there was a bar there. I was anxious to see some old faces and when they showed up we were able to catch up on the old times.

To my surprise, I found myself talking and catching up some of the kids who were responsible for some of my terrible memories from my youth. Now that they were adults, and the angst of teenagehood is over, they were more reasonable to speak with and to know. Maybe, just maybe, I can try forget about all that trouble from my childhood. We are connected by fate and the bonds of time. We were kids and we had to grow up together, whether we liked it or not. The past has to be forgiven.